Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I got mad this morning

Ok, i got real mad. eBay is a lame ass hole. Yes, they have connected me with individuals all over the globe to make ridiculous monies on trinkets of my discovering. My current record is 7800% return on my investment. Hell yea. But, instead of making me pump my fist in financial joy, those pig fuckers pissed me off real bad. They decided that it was not important for me to have a very successful auction. Instead of them getting their ridiculous fees, they decided to cancel my auction. Real lame. In fact im so pissed about this action, im going to stop typing.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

yesm its the worst entry ever.

Ok, well im starting this one with nothing special to say at the moment, as i try and make the longest paragraph possible that will not end unless i choose the proper punctuation to make it a proper sentence, but in all actuality i bet that this sentence could be diagrammed into many numerous sentences but since i was never taught that feat i will end it now due to poor grammar.

bleh, that was stupid and lame, Stume, the stupid and lame that comes about with nothing good to say, yes, that opening was about as Stume as one could get.

Now with positive statements making this the coolest entry ever since the opener was so lame that no one should actually be reading this sentence.

Man, usually i can think of a rant by this point, it must be the fact that i cant stop thinking of Wilford Brimley, you know, the Diabetes spokesperson. Yea, im going to stop while im ahead.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

watch the movie TAKEN

Hot damn. this movie whooped some ass. Liam N. (because i dont know how to spell his last name) whooped some kidnappers ass. One of the best movies i have seen in a while.

shoot dang.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh yea, i made a blog

Yo Yo Yo.

as the start of all good blog entries, i should be working. Today was sort of lame. I had to make a tool that works fine, and acts just as it should, much more difficult to figure out unless you have used it before. And it only took me 2 hours to mess everything up!!! YEA!!

Ok, back to writing more stuff. I am .....

ok. I did not like where that sentence was going, so i started a new one, to keep the no backspace rule alive, except when fat fingers some into play. Well, i wrote an entry talking about exercise or something like that, or how i was going to try and run a mile a day based on my buddies abilities and experience and inspirations. Well, i remembered something, IM DAMN FAT. Oh yea, my feet, good thing i have a wall mirror or otherwise i would not be able to tie my shoes. Yea, thats right, i cant even bend over and see my feet. You ever had that problem? Look down expecting to find toes and all you can see are stretch marks in the shape of a double cheeseburger!! And yes, the stretch marks are plentiful enough to represent 2 slices of cheese, not this bullshit one slice of cheese that the McDouble is trying to represent.

But, i did go out and run one mile after my last post. Now there is sidewalk construction in my neighborhood. It amazing that i was not cited for destroying public property with my sweat induced stumblefest of blabber balancing. But, i guess you cant give a citation to an entity that is larger than the car you got out of. Its kind of like being omnipresent, but fat as hell in the process.

So, since i had a sore knee, a bum back pain, and a reiteration that the only thing that would solve my running problems was a less impact way of moving my limbs. Remember that Richard Simmons video where he had the people waving their arms, well i do, and that is one hell of an exercise. I have started waving my left arm one day, and then my right arm the next. I have done this for a whopping accluminating no days, as i have only invisioned the results i would achieve from this process. But, Hey, my subconscious mind doesnt know the difference, and it has now become trained to not send double cheeseburger fat particles to my left and right arms on every other day. BOOYAH.

But on a serious tip, i have been riding the hell out of my bike. It is much less impact, and it is faster than driving my car. Mainly because i have to pry my fat ass out of the drivers seat, and the steering wheel is really digging into my gut region about 3-7 inches above my belly button. It has rubbed a smiling face into my belly, but chafing is never a happy scenario. Ok, now that one realizes the amount of time it takes to get out of my truck, then the waddlefest to my office, and the 2 BLOCK walk from my truck to the shop, my bike is much faster. Oh, did i mention that i love gravity? Well i do. Its downhill on the way to work, and you combine a mountain bike with a bottomed out front fork, and a small shed of a fat ass going downhill, you get one sweat flinging commute to work. Shoot Dang.

So, that is what im up to, riding my bike. But, since it got nice enough to ride my bike, i have been fixing it up. Its a turbo sweet 1996 M2 Comp Specialized Stumpjumper Hardtail. In nerd talk it supports the weight of a kindergarden class, or me. But, like i mentioned, the fork was bottomed out because the geniuses at Rock Shox decided to use wine corks for shock suppression instead of a cylinder, or spring, or hell mashed potatoes would have worked better, and given me a snack as it oozed out of the fork from my fat ass bottoming it out. Either way, i fixed the fork with springs, and im not all that happy with it, but eBay sells a hydraulic gas cylinder conversion kit for the low low price of $88. Its cheaper than a new fork, and will make mine real nice. Once i can afford enough sea kelp to keep my 40000 caloric intake quota updated, ill look into a hydraulic cylinder to keep the front end of my bike awake.

im not really talking about anything, this has been realized. owell, its my blog. Time to go back to work, i got to play mad scientist. cheers yall.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Where are my feet?

Here it goes. A constant blab of words on a text screen. For the first time i will be sharing the thoughts and words swimming in my 3d matrix of a brain. For the following words i will layout my main ground rule:

1. no revision.

Yup, there it is. I can hit backspace because my fingers are like typing with hotdogs, (got to love the space bar, cause how else would a sausage hit a single key!). There is a good point there. The parenthesis were not needed. But to get rid of them would be to deter away from rule no. 1 so there.

Im inspired to start such a thing because, well, i could be working. Yup 100 percent of inspiration there. Actually, its a greater reason. The reason of saying something that i have yet to decide upon. The fact of the matter is i was polietly reminded of a great idea a friend had. it was to start running a mile a day. i read his words on my computer screen and it was like he was talking to me. that was kind of neat. i dont get to chat with those that i once kicked it proper with as much as i would like, but his ramblings made some sense, and it twas nice to hear them. by hear i mean read.

RULE No 2 - I feel that i can capatilize when i deem it necessary.

Ok, back to blabbering. im going to finish this entry and start up on something that has been a long time coming. Yup, my knee is healed. My bike has been working me back to health and mobility. Im going to start my mile a day. I have regained an ID card for the local gym, so i can be buff and huge in a non diabetic way, and im going to do it. Lord knows the start will be like pushing a wheelbarrow full of assholes while it has a flat tire. But hey, that is just about as funny as my running pose. I know a lot of people that run, and that is good. I just wish that my ipod would not skip when my thunderous frame cracks the pavement underneath me.

Ok, Enough typing when i should be running. There i go again. Wish me luck and a deterence of something that is not plesant.